One wonderful day in Sandpoint as i waited for my dear friend Camillia who...(is always late)....i sat, looking around, at couples, people by themselves and some very good looking "candy"(men)...it struck something in me which made me want to write about a recent change in a relationship that i was participating in and or sharing myself in...so thanks to a bloody Mary a pen and the back pages of my 2 year calender i came up with these random thoughts...
Aug 6th, 2009
So how is it any different when you encounter another human being that makes you feel alive that you cant get enough of and there are feelings there...but your not 100% sure and then...walks in another human being who you have that same spark with...you then find yourself in the same position as you were before...but then what? you drop this one for the next? and move forward forever effecting someone else!? how is this fair? or is this a question of being fair? should we listen deep within our souls realizing its a ride this lifeof ours...some come, some go, some stay forever...are we creatures that are supposed to be with the same person through out our whole lives? or are we suppose to give ourselves, our souls, to many and leave them with impressions and or experiences that would have never been otherwise...this is what i think. I believe...i would rather live/experience someone even if it ends up hurting in the end rather than not having experienced anything/anyone at all.
i believe that i/we may be here to give my/our love to as many people as i can (however they interpret this) and i cannot do this if tied to one person/soul. Now i am not saying this connection/ love is always on an "intimate" level with everyone...because you share yourself with other men and women all day long...i believe there will only be a few in my lifetime that i can truly say i have such a deep connection with that the intensity of intimacy (whether it be friendships or lovers) is accepted. I feel that i dont want to put myself in a position where i love to spend time with an energy that has presented itself, but feel i cannot because i have made a commitment of sorts to another....is this fair? some may say its conceited...
i dont know what it is except for true honesty of myself...which is hard to find with another person...i dont know there is "one" person in this world that can share themselves with me as i would them...also knowing there may be a possibility of some other that disrupts the "pattern"
and then camillia showed up for what would becomeone of the best nights of my life...i think!! lappin accross america...i was in rare form that night...sharing myself with the world!!! he he he to have a male "friend" who can participate in life with me this way...without freakinig out, or changing or getting wierd about me or some chick...fantastic!!! or ME being able to handle the same...pefect...i just dont know if that is possible...maybe someday!!
now thats some deep shit!!!!! i missed my calling!! LMAO!!
side note> why do women go through "menopause" which is all physical B.S and men have 24 year old mistresses and a sports cars?? ;-)~
Monday, September 21, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
TnA.....or DnB (dick n balls)
ok so i have to say...that it has been brought to my attention by my lovely cousin mz susana that i ooze sex!!!!!! really i mean really?!?!? only because almost every conversation i have can and will turn to a sexual kinda thing...I CANT HELP IT it just happens i am a sexual being!! ( its a pide piper kinda thing ((as my cuz puts it))...Ill say it now....."well i neva!!" i think it has to do with the fact that i am very comfortable in my own skin and very comfortable with SEX!!!! it is what it is!! i come from a long line of people who are this way....well....this is according to my mother...
we were talking one day about sex (well because as you all know this is what women do) and if they tell you they don't...they are lying...or they are hanging out with some pretty fucking boring people!!!! any hew...im not sure what we were talking about exactly... i think it was about the frequency and how i was having a hard time trying to find someone who could keep up!!! and so my mother say s to me..."oh honey....its how we were made i mean MY side of the family" like its some kind of honor to have a high sex drive and that only the few and privileged experience this!!! now i know there are many of you out there who are saying to yourself....my god i cant believe that you are talking this way with your mother!!! well you have to know her!!!! she is quite the woman who has no fear of telling yo exactly what on the mind...especially when it comes to sex!!! (weird i wonder where i got this?)
which brings me to my point that i originally was trying to make!!! sat evening a.....wait i need to back it up to an evening that was spent in Leavenworth...there were 8 of us cousins ranging from ages 24 up to well i think 52 (sorry if i got that wrong ladies) well anyways like all women im sorry most women we start....wait...back up i was obsessed with the perfectness of my cousins tatas well because she is 47..may be off a couple years...and they are fucking perfect NO boob job like the rest of our nation!!! just unbelievable!!! so this starts a sort of vagina monologue kinda think about boobs!!!!!! so we all start to precede to share flashes of each others boobs (because we are family and thats what family does.....right? LMAO) well let me just tell yo they come in all shapes and sizes and most of you men...know this!!! good god the way they gravitate with age and breastfeeding towards the ground!!!!! amazing!!! we all were laughing our asses off tears were flowing jokes and slams galore!!!! quite frankly it was fantastic!!! my stomach hurt the next day from the laughter!!
now this came up again this last weekend @ a birthday party...and the twist was this..........do guys do this??? can you imagine!!! (as said in low deep macho voice while in the john) "hey Larry your dick at your age is brilliant!!! let me tell ya!!!!! wow!!"" well thanks Jim!! how about you??? whats yours like lets check it out!!" and then proceeds to yells out "Tim, frank , John and SAM!!!!!!! come in the bathroom!!!!! lets compare dicks and balls!!!!! so they all run in and start laughing and comparing (after a few beers of course) LOL and then Larry says to Tim hey your wife has to stop sucking on your nut sack those thing s are touching the floor!!!!! NO this does not happen thank god!!!!! but why is it that women are so much more comfortable then men when it comes to this?!?! why are we so much more free to express ourselves in front of each other...i mean men are the more sexual being right so they shouldn't care???
its because....well...quite frankly....a dick is ugly!!! it really is!! and those of you women who have beautiful natural tatas....embrace them...well because gravity effects their dicks just as much....and there aint no silicone that can fix that!!! oh ya....and at least one day...we know....that our tatas wont be hittin the toilet water!!!!!!!!!!!!
feel the love!!!!
side note> during his life time a man will ejaculate 371/2 sperm on average...
we were talking one day about sex (well because as you all know this is what women do) and if they tell you they don't...they are lying...or they are hanging out with some pretty fucking boring people!!!! any hew...im not sure what we were talking about exactly... i think it was about the frequency and how i was having a hard time trying to find someone who could keep up!!! and so my mother say s to me..."oh honey....its how we were made i mean MY side of the family" like its some kind of honor to have a high sex drive and that only the few and privileged experience this!!! now i know there are many of you out there who are saying to yourself....my god i cant believe that you are talking this way with your mother!!! well you have to know her!!!! she is quite the woman who has no fear of telling yo exactly what on the mind...especially when it comes to sex!!! (weird i wonder where i got this?)
which brings me to my point that i originally was trying to make!!! sat evening a.....wait i need to back it up to an evening that was spent in Leavenworth...there were 8 of us cousins ranging from ages 24 up to well i think 52 (sorry if i got that wrong ladies) well anyways like all women im sorry most women we start....wait...back up i was obsessed with the perfectness of my cousins tatas well because she is 47..may be off a couple years...and they are fucking perfect NO boob job like the rest of our nation!!! just unbelievable!!! so this starts a sort of vagina monologue kinda think about boobs!!!!!! so we all start to precede to share flashes of each others boobs (because we are family and thats what family does.....right? LMAO) well let me just tell yo they come in all shapes and sizes and most of you men...know this!!! good god the way they gravitate with age and breastfeeding towards the ground!!!!! amazing!!! we all were laughing our asses off tears were flowing jokes and slams galore!!!! quite frankly it was fantastic!!! my stomach hurt the next day from the laughter!!
now this came up again this last weekend @ a birthday party...and the twist was this..........do guys do this??? can you imagine!!! (as said in low deep macho voice while in the john) "hey Larry your dick at your age is brilliant!!! let me tell ya!!!!! wow!!"" well thanks Jim!! how about you??? whats yours like lets check it out!!" and then proceeds to yells out "Tim, frank , John and SAM!!!!!!! come in the bathroom!!!!! lets compare dicks and balls!!!!! so they all run in and start laughing and comparing (after a few beers of course) LOL and then Larry says to Tim hey your wife has to stop sucking on your nut sack those thing s are touching the floor!!!!! NO this does not happen thank god!!!!! but why is it that women are so much more comfortable then men when it comes to this?!?! why are we so much more free to express ourselves in front of each other...i mean men are the more sexual being right so they shouldn't care???
its because....well...quite frankly....a dick is ugly!!! it really is!! and those of you women who have beautiful natural tatas....embrace them...well because gravity effects their dicks just as much....and there aint no silicone that can fix that!!! oh ya....and at least one day...we know....that our tatas wont be hittin the toilet water!!!!!!!!!!!!
feel the love!!!!
side note> during his life time a man will ejaculate 371/2 sperm on average...
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
revelations......growth
so here i am again..its been some time since the wedding talk!! i was on such a high after all of that love....oh and alcohol!! so my thought this time is about revelations...
i recently was involved in a conversation with a gentleman that i just met...we will call him reverend..(tis a joke) he knows of what i speak...because those of you who know me....well we all know there is NO way that i would be involved in a conversation with a reverend...now wait i mean that with the ut most respect!!! i would talk with him...for all people are good people...i just wouldn't get into a conversation about religion with him....because those of you who know me...know that i would make the poor bastard go to his knees asking for forgiveness for me for him for even talking this way to another from the lord above!!!! he would be crying...i think i may have touched a bit to much on religion/and or opinion there of...apologies...WAIT!!!! this is a blog what the fuck am i apologizing for????? im still a good person and can honestly say that i can associate with all walks of life..because essentially they all took a path to get there!! which makes them great!! my opinion should technically NOT make you dislike me...maybe just disagree!!!
wow k..so i had this thought after our conversation...about how as you age you come to these certain Revelations and sometimes those take place when your involved with or talking with someone else..which sometimes is not in the favor of the other unfortunately...but then to turn things around to work towards your favor is the key!!
a counselor once informed that most women who go through divorce especially those who have young children..usually take 5 years before they start to think about themselves instead of there children...so those of you.. (unless you are a whore and have an affair and decided to fall in love with someone else and screw up someone elses life) who have gotten married, are completely screwed!!!!!! sorry...really because once again (according to the counselor) you wake up one Sunday morning jump out of bed look over to his person in your bed...and yell "WTF have i done!!!!!!" as he jumps out of bed, and looks at you in horror with his shriveled up ****...(well you get the idea) and yells, "WTF are you talking about!! im sorry!!!" you NOW feel...WTF have a done....so then starts the twisted game of how to get out and be yourself again...this revelation is yours not his....he should not own this...should try and recognized that you were different when you first met because of what another ass had done!!!!
so there are many variations to these revelations that none of us should own unless WE were the one who woke up one Sunday morn...yelling WTF have i done!!!!!!! to those of you who feel responsible...let it go!!! let it go!!!! peace
side note> there are 6 1/2 billion people in this world (roughly) its crazy how out of all those people you meet who you meet...but then at the same time have a connection...how lucky!!!
i recently was involved in a conversation with a gentleman that i just met...we will call him reverend..(tis a joke) he knows of what i speak...because those of you who know me....well we all know there is NO way that i would be involved in a conversation with a reverend...now wait i mean that with the ut most respect!!! i would talk with him...for all people are good people...i just wouldn't get into a conversation about religion with him....because those of you who know me...know that i would make the poor bastard go to his knees asking for forgiveness for me for him for even talking this way to another from the lord above!!!! he would be crying...i think i may have touched a bit to much on religion/and or opinion there of...apologies...WAIT!!!! this is a blog what the fuck am i apologizing for????? im still a good person and can honestly say that i can associate with all walks of life..because essentially they all took a path to get there!! which makes them great!! my opinion should technically NOT make you dislike me...maybe just disagree!!!
wow k..so i had this thought after our conversation...about how as you age you come to these certain Revelations and sometimes those take place when your involved with or talking with someone else..which sometimes is not in the favor of the other unfortunately...but then to turn things around to work towards your favor is the key!!
a counselor once informed that most women who go through divorce especially those who have young children..usually take 5 years before they start to think about themselves instead of there children...so those of you.. (unless you are a whore and have an affair and decided to fall in love with someone else and screw up someone elses life) who have gotten married, are completely screwed!!!!!! sorry...really because once again (according to the counselor) you wake up one Sunday morning jump out of bed look over to his person in your bed...and yell "WTF have i done!!!!!!" as he jumps out of bed, and looks at you in horror with his shriveled up ****...(well you get the idea) and yells, "WTF are you talking about!! im sorry!!!" you NOW feel...WTF have a done....so then starts the twisted game of how to get out and be yourself again...this revelation is yours not his....he should not own this...should try and recognized that you were different when you first met because of what another ass had done!!!!
so there are many variations to these revelations that none of us should own unless WE were the one who woke up one Sunday morn...yelling WTF have i done!!!!!!! to those of you who feel responsible...let it go!!! let it go!!!! peace
side note> there are 6 1/2 billion people in this world (roughly) its crazy how out of all those people you meet who you meet...but then at the same time have a connection...how lucky!!!
Sunday, September 6, 2009
k...soooo if you are a part of the facebook dealio you are aware that i attended a wedding this weekend..that i must say..was a true witness of love...really it was very encouraging and inspirational to be a part of such passion!! it was definitely an old fashioned type of day!!
the fact that it was pouring down (and i mean pouring) down rain..and the smiles and tears were still all around was amazing to me....ask yourself how many weddings have you been to that you walk away from saying....YES!!!!!!!!!! those two are going to make it!! this was one!!
The production that goes into these weddings amazes me...its crazy!!! you can plan plan plan and you just never know how these things will turn out!! THE alcohol the flows at these things..amazing to me people are just different at weddings...is it because everyone is dressed up feeling good wanting to have a fun time...because there hasn't been all that many times (absolutely unless on a beach on vacation OR on a boat) that i have started drinking heavily @ 1 pm!!! LOL!! yes yes yes those of you who know me......bite your tongues!!! ;-) anyways its interesting to watch people...i mean its basically an organized ritual, really, that over time due to the fact that our society has gotten so far fetched with the obsession of perfection that we all know the routine to!!! like organised religion!!!
i mean there is a strangeness to the whole thing that we (meaning the wedding couple and their poor parents) are responsible to feed you a full course meal (while yo listen to a live band playing soft music in the background) and on top of it..top shelf alcohol beer and wine!!!! who decided this was what everyone wanted?? i mean dont get me wrong!!!! i am so grateful for these experiences i have had at these weddings!! trust me!! (including my own..HA) but, it just seems so....well superficial anymore...this last wedding brought my mind to a place of simplicity...with the rain and ambiance of everything...keeping it simple...a love that found each other that wants to shout it to you to the sky...i dont need to be fed to experience this...i dont need to dance...i dont need to drink (i like to!!) to see this....we dont have to spend $$ to let everyone know!!
an intimate moment between two people that deep down truly love each other..you can see it.. you can feel it...and you are proud to be a witness to it....this is all any of us should NEED at a wedding...........
thank you David and Juliette..congratulations! i look forward to your life!!!!
side note> who named a shot of whiskey on the rocks a "cocktail?"
the fact that it was pouring down (and i mean pouring) down rain..and the smiles and tears were still all around was amazing to me....ask yourself how many weddings have you been to that you walk away from saying....YES!!!!!!!!!! those two are going to make it!! this was one!!
The production that goes into these weddings amazes me...its crazy!!! you can plan plan plan and you just never know how these things will turn out!! THE alcohol the flows at these things..amazing to me people are just different at weddings...is it because everyone is dressed up feeling good wanting to have a fun time...because there hasn't been all that many times (absolutely unless on a beach on vacation OR on a boat) that i have started drinking heavily @ 1 pm!!! LOL!! yes yes yes those of you who know me......bite your tongues!!! ;-) anyways its interesting to watch people...i mean its basically an organized ritual, really, that over time due to the fact that our society has gotten so far fetched with the obsession of perfection that we all know the routine to!!! like organised religion!!!
i mean there is a strangeness to the whole thing that we (meaning the wedding couple and their poor parents) are responsible to feed you a full course meal (while yo listen to a live band playing soft music in the background) and on top of it..top shelf alcohol beer and wine!!!! who decided this was what everyone wanted?? i mean dont get me wrong!!!! i am so grateful for these experiences i have had at these weddings!! trust me!! (including my own..HA) but, it just seems so....well superficial anymore...this last wedding brought my mind to a place of simplicity...with the rain and ambiance of everything...keeping it simple...a love that found each other that wants to shout it to you to the sky...i dont need to be fed to experience this...i dont need to dance...i dont need to drink (i like to!!) to see this....we dont have to spend $$ to let everyone know!!
an intimate moment between two people that deep down truly love each other..you can see it.. you can feel it...and you are proud to be a witness to it....this is all any of us should NEED at a wedding...........
thank you David and Juliette..congratulations! i look forward to your life!!!!
side note> who named a shot of whiskey on the rocks a "cocktail?"
Thursday, September 3, 2009
the mind of ORBO???
i went to coffee this am with a wonderful inspirational friend....we will call her silly C!! and we got to talking...wait wtf am i thinking...shes my therapist.....so i got to talking about life and love and all that other bs that i always seem to manage screwing up...and as this conversation took place...it went to other random places well like my blog name....ORBO...and i thought i should explain as to how i got there!!
now this may not be as hilarious as it was this morn.. but here goes!!
well it stands for O'Neill Roberts Brown Oneill!!! hence the ORBO!! those of you who are familiar with my colorful life know that these are my "last names!" well the last names that i have acquired...
I was born 1970 as an O'Neill...it was good times i enjoyed this last name for quite sometime...then i met a man...ah..wait a minute that would b a boy...(because essentially that's what most men are!!!!!) when i was 19 that well showed me the way to the greatest thing that i had ever experienced...yes...you know what im talking about...the wonderful Orgasm!!!!! well once that happened..i was in it was like a drug...i reference it to candy...like a pezz dispenser!!! ya just pop the lid and your in heaven!!! after the introduction to this..he could do whatever he wanted!! (which wasnt very nice) and considering the fact that i was immature,young, and naive as well...and had no idea who i was...well the rest is history and 2 wonderful kids later the marriage ended when i caught him in bed with another anxiously awaiting lassy with her mouth wide open waiting for the pezz!!!!! LMAO!! wow to much information??
which then brings me to my next letter...B this came about when i met a wonderful man!! cant say a bad thing about him...if i did it would be he was essentially a boy as well...(like i said they all are!!) it was my dysfunction this time...well after the counseling,healing, growth and time, i realized..well im fucked up and this man is to nice t be involved...i was afraid of what i may do!! he taught me a lot he was a tremendous influence on these wonderful boys i have and still is to this day!! definitely plays the role of dad much better then a lot of dads out there!! so i thank you!!! we are friends now and get along...well after he laid into me here and there for a bit!! LOL!
which brings me full circle back around to the big O!!!!!!!!!! wait talking about an orgasm i will save for another blog!!! i mean back to my last name....yet again....O"Neill i like the ring to that!! he he he i shall stay here indefinitely i have come to understand my self who i am what i represent what i choose to own and or let go of in my life choices....it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of me...im not here to impress anyone on this earth...i am here to be the best possible person i can be the best friend i can be the best mom i can be and all that other stuff!! will i screw up some more..ya...will i inspire people? sure will i be inspired by others always am...
so there you have it!! from the mind of ORBO!!! NOW i definitely cant get married again...because it would just screw everything up!!!
side note> why is being naked so strange and or scary to some people?
now this may not be as hilarious as it was this morn.. but here goes!!
well it stands for O'Neill Roberts Brown Oneill!!! hence the ORBO!! those of you who are familiar with my colorful life know that these are my "last names!" well the last names that i have acquired...
I was born 1970 as an O'Neill...it was good times i enjoyed this last name for quite sometime...then i met a man...ah..wait a minute that would b a boy...(because essentially that's what most men are!!!!!) when i was 19 that well showed me the way to the greatest thing that i had ever experienced...yes...you know what im talking about...the wonderful Orgasm!!!!! well once that happened..i was in it was like a drug...i reference it to candy...like a pezz dispenser!!! ya just pop the lid and your in heaven!!! after the introduction to this..he could do whatever he wanted!! (which wasnt very nice) and considering the fact that i was immature,young, and naive as well...and had no idea who i was...well the rest is history and 2 wonderful kids later the marriage ended when i caught him in bed with another anxiously awaiting lassy with her mouth wide open waiting for the pezz!!!!! LMAO!! wow to much information??
which then brings me to my next letter...B this came about when i met a wonderful man!! cant say a bad thing about him...if i did it would be he was essentially a boy as well...(like i said they all are!!) it was my dysfunction this time...well after the counseling,healing, growth and time, i realized..well im fucked up and this man is to nice t be involved...i was afraid of what i may do!! he taught me a lot he was a tremendous influence on these wonderful boys i have and still is to this day!! definitely plays the role of dad much better then a lot of dads out there!! so i thank you!!! we are friends now and get along...well after he laid into me here and there for a bit!! LOL!
which brings me full circle back around to the big O!!!!!!!!!! wait talking about an orgasm i will save for another blog!!! i mean back to my last name....yet again....O"Neill i like the ring to that!! he he he i shall stay here indefinitely i have come to understand my self who i am what i represent what i choose to own and or let go of in my life choices....it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of me...im not here to impress anyone on this earth...i am here to be the best possible person i can be the best friend i can be the best mom i can be and all that other stuff!! will i screw up some more..ya...will i inspire people? sure will i be inspired by others always am...
so there you have it!! from the mind of ORBO!!! NOW i definitely cant get married again...because it would just screw everything up!!!
side note> why is being naked so strange and or scary to some people?
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
parenting...should you have a license??
all i have to say is this...ABSOLUTELY!! but then that would raise a whole other set of rules and regulations for someone to have to micro manage...now wouldn't it.
all i know is that day in and day out i see people that have children...well quite frankly that just shouldn't!! now im not saying that im the greatest parent by any means..however my children have turned out fairly well..not 1/2 bad really, and let me tell you the dysfunction they come from..there father marriage # 3 and not happy!! and i could go on for hours about the abuse that is handed out there on a daily basis to all of us...love = money i guess thats good for the kids!! they have really nice things so they look good for pops!! :)
there mother well divorced twice and well i dont have a lot of money, but i do have a lot of love!! im just hangin out raising kids trying to do my best to keep my "private" life away from the chitlins..you know kinda like a Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde in the female sense...when the cats away the mice will play so to speak..i have difficulties with understanding myself and relationships with men...no denying it. but have managed to raise the kids to understand that its NOT theirs to own!! our lives are our own to command to control!! we will see if its a job well done in the long run i guess...
back to the license...sooo im at jr high orientation with my son today and well he gets his schedule and i say..."well...go to find your locker open it up find your classes do your thing!! ill b here for moral support"...so off we go as im looking around i see parent after parent with their child's schedule in their hand finding the locker..for their child, finding the classrooms for their child...and im thinking to myself WTF!!! wait a minute here!! ah...whos going to school in a couple of days?? OH SHIT!! (hit myself in the head) ya MOM an DAD are!!! wtf am i thinking this makes total sense that the parents are enabling the kids well to be helpless and not accountable for screwing up!!! god forbid they get lost or have to ask for directions or...wait....even help.....OH NO!!!
im tired of kids NOT having the responsibility and or experience of screwing up!! i mean isnt that what gives us our character in a way? anymore these kids cant speak for themselves cant think for themselves cant SCREW up for themselves!! why? well because mommy and daddy have conditioned you so much on how to "look" for them...shit they have taken over your brain!! i mean we dont want our kids to look like idiots!! not the fool..we cant have their feelings hurt!! OH NO!! i mean dont these things have to happen in order for us NOT to learn to do it again...in order to create a bit of character for others to enjoy??
i have worked i pediatrics for years...and another dysfunction...the NEED to feel NEEDED!! good god some of these parents never had a lick of attention/affection as a child growing up...so what do they do? look to their children...they want them to hurt, feel bad, have a hard time or be scared because then it fills the need to be wanted!! and creates a whole world of freaky dysfunction that well NO medication can even come close to fixing...oooo another topic for a different day DRUGS!!!
all im saying is that if we really evaluated potential parents and all they had to do was sign some paper work...of what it really takes/means to be a "healthy" parent...things may be a bit different i guess it would have to be someone rather sain that defines this...because well if they were dysfunctional...well screw it!!! we are all dysfunctional...its all about guidance...you either gotstit or you dont!!!!! and there is a whole hell of a lot of people out there that dont....and im scared!!
side note> i wonder how they came up with the name elmo?
all i know is that day in and day out i see people that have children...well quite frankly that just shouldn't!! now im not saying that im the greatest parent by any means..however my children have turned out fairly well..not 1/2 bad really, and let me tell you the dysfunction they come from..there father marriage # 3 and not happy!! and i could go on for hours about the abuse that is handed out there on a daily basis to all of us...love = money i guess thats good for the kids!! they have really nice things so they look good for pops!! :)
there mother well divorced twice and well i dont have a lot of money, but i do have a lot of love!! im just hangin out raising kids trying to do my best to keep my "private" life away from the chitlins..you know kinda like a Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde in the female sense...when the cats away the mice will play so to speak..i have difficulties with understanding myself and relationships with men...no denying it. but have managed to raise the kids to understand that its NOT theirs to own!! our lives are our own to command to control!! we will see if its a job well done in the long run i guess...
back to the license...sooo im at jr high orientation with my son today and well he gets his schedule and i say..."well...go to find your locker open it up find your classes do your thing!! ill b here for moral support"...so off we go as im looking around i see parent after parent with their child's schedule in their hand finding the locker..for their child, finding the classrooms for their child...and im thinking to myself WTF!!! wait a minute here!! ah...whos going to school in a couple of days?? OH SHIT!! (hit myself in the head) ya MOM an DAD are!!! wtf am i thinking this makes total sense that the parents are enabling the kids well to be helpless and not accountable for screwing up!!! god forbid they get lost or have to ask for directions or...wait....even help.....OH NO!!!
im tired of kids NOT having the responsibility and or experience of screwing up!! i mean isnt that what gives us our character in a way? anymore these kids cant speak for themselves cant think for themselves cant SCREW up for themselves!! why? well because mommy and daddy have conditioned you so much on how to "look" for them...shit they have taken over your brain!! i mean we dont want our kids to look like idiots!! not the fool..we cant have their feelings hurt!! OH NO!! i mean dont these things have to happen in order for us NOT to learn to do it again...in order to create a bit of character for others to enjoy??
i have worked i pediatrics for years...and another dysfunction...the NEED to feel NEEDED!! good god some of these parents never had a lick of attention/affection as a child growing up...so what do they do? look to their children...they want them to hurt, feel bad, have a hard time or be scared because then it fills the need to be wanted!! and creates a whole world of freaky dysfunction that well NO medication can even come close to fixing...oooo another topic for a different day DRUGS!!!
all im saying is that if we really evaluated potential parents and all they had to do was sign some paper work...of what it really takes/means to be a "healthy" parent...things may be a bit different i guess it would have to be someone rather sain that defines this...because well if they were dysfunctional...well screw it!!! we are all dysfunctional...its all about guidance...you either gotstit or you dont!!!!! and there is a whole hell of a lot of people out there that dont....and im scared!!
side note> i wonder how they came up with the name elmo?
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