A Deep Breath

So...im back on the year anniversary date...

To sum up this last year.....i want you to look at this first writing well...as one as one of those fake plastic, robotic family letters (no offense if you send them) that we all get during these joyous holiday times telling you how perfect my life is and how wonderful my husband, kids, and animals are during the last 365 days...which then will put you in a twisted dreamlike state that makes you go grab the bottle of whiskey from the cupboard, take a swig, and while sitting, quietly, you look at the Christmas tree lights in the dark, questioning yourself, wondering...."Where the fuck did i go wrong with MY family??" how and why are these people i hardly know or ever see sooo perfect?!?"

here goes....

Problem number one....i dont have a husband and im sure if i did...he would be annoying the shit out of me...and i could find more things wrong with him after all these years than i could right..sex would be well once a month maybe?? i would be tired and we would have bills and stress and i would be looking at all the other husbands wondering...if their 'grass' would be greener?....YA..i think life with my vibrator is just fine!!!

My new love is music....via through my Martin...we get along GREAT...if im pissed he listens....if i am sad he listens...if im happy he listens....if i dont feel like talking hes cool with that..well i pretty much get my way..all the time...sex is a little stiff...BUT....ill take it...hahahaha!! (sorry...couldn't help myself) a journey it has put me through...a path that somehow always seems to lead and find the way at the same time.... i have evolved and changed as a human being tremendously in these last 3 years...
im getting old..the body isnt the same as it used to be...i cant eat, drink, and play as i use too and well...that SUCKS! but its ok....
i have bills to pay, a house to keep up which is a pain in my ass..but its ok...everyday i try and say weeeeeeeeee...well..because...WE are lucky...life could be worse..no?

Kids? oh well they are great...they piss me off, make me pull my hair out, i dont yell as much as i uses to though...thats nice...
There was a lot of upset and yelling before the elder left for college this year because he didnt agree with my love affair..and felt it was taking time away from him...(this tends to happen when you are in love)...BUT the children soon learned that he makes me very happy...absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that shit....and alls well that ends well...sooo basically we are dysfunctional at times JUST LIKE THE REST OF YOU!!!
but you know what....its ok....and we learn everyday...that you can think to much, everyone's different, we all have different demons we fight, so try and be patient before you freak out, communication is key, LOVE does make the world go round, and the Beatles rule!!
I LOVE my children...i dont care what they do (well I do..as their parent i cant help it) as long as they are good to others...and they are happy....SOOOOO with that being said...who knows WTF they will do.....and if you dont like us because they are not Dentist, Doctors, or not making 6 figures....then you probably shouldn't be in our lives anyway..and i just wasted a stamp.....

As far as the kitty's Lucinda and Mildred go......they eat, they fight, they shit in their litter box...and well....give us LOVE while playing Ping Pong.....

Maybe after this 365 day statement....you will have a smile on your face...maybe not....and if you still go to the liquor cabinet...i suggest a good counselor and AAA

November 27th 2011

i find it ironic that it will be a year tomorrow since i have written on "From the Mind of ORBO" ....soooo in light of this...i will wait until tomorrow night to begin writing again....i will say...reading over this blog....HAHAHAAHAHHA....HAH...HA...HA
AHEM...i am strange...and its ok....so much has happened....ill see YOU tomorrow night....

human nature

If they say why? why? tell em that's just human nature...why? why? does he/she do me that way?
i love Michael Jackson...

A lot has happened in the last few months for me...have had some great times this last summer...
livin the dream meeting some fun people...then come the cold dark damp days...not to be a downer...but its obviously tough on he human psyche these long winter days...they are what i call...thinking days..

after a conversation with a close, wonderful, recent friend of mine today (love you Loogz) ;)~
i did some thinking....

my life has certainly seen some interesting turns and i have met some interesting people...i would like to think that i am a descent person try to do the right thing...not always the case in my past....like most of us...i am ok with these choices because they brought reason and purpose i would have never known otherwise..in these last few years solo...i have done the right thing made some good choices and it has shown me the bright side of a good world...and i feel very fortunate.

which brings me to Michael Jackson and human nature...

i have had the opportunity to do what i love to do in these last few months...observe people..that i dont know...strangers in a room with a "purpose" or so they think...a "mission" they believe...(i am just as guilty of this as well...believing something that may not necessarily be true..) at times only because THATS what i have been lead to believe..

why do people want to "belong" to something so much? why do people take advantage of this? prey on others who have insecurities that are obvious because of the life that has been given...life has always been about survival of the fittest..as it should be..but it shouldn't be survival by taking from the weak...is it up to the weak to see they are being preyed upon? how can they...they just want to be ok with the world because the things they believed as a child weren't necessarily true...shattered dreams..

The ones who prey...know they do it...have to sleep at night...in which im sure they do...
the prey just keep licking their wounds...and then they all show up in the same place looking for their next meal with their freshly healed wounds...to do it all over again............searching for what? to belong to something? is it human nature this cycle we all put ourselves through? its everywhere in all social groups no one is immune...the hunter and the prey just different i have worn many a mask...and it is the same everywhere...

when will we get back to respect of the human being sitting across from you....male/female not allowing the insecurity to get the best of us...we have become a society on edge waiting to doge the bullet of another...

few are the genuine who don't secretly look for "WHAT" they will get on the end...

it use to be helping each other out...now its about getting the secret prize in the cracker jack box by ripping it open...instead of savoring the Carmel corn in anticipation of the prize at the bottom...

Orbo out and peace

from the mind of OrbO: the "happy" trail......

from the mind of OrbO: the "happy" trail......

the "happy" trail......

and here we are again.....

Sunday...hmmm...this brings to mind a certain dinner that i was asked to attend by a very dear friend of mine...who's name(due to privacy issues and NON embarrassing situations that may occur) has been changed, as well as others mentioned in soon to be told story....wehw!! that was winded!! ok..back to Gabriella we will call her...

I pick her up and we are to meet to others ...whom we will call Natasha and Shanana..yes thats right i said it...Shanana NOW let me just say that her sudo name was very difficult to come up with...it took awhile...i mean this girl!!!! you should see her...wearing these hot little short shorts with legs that well quite frankly...DID NOT end!!! dark hair placed back with white head band and matching tank...and a bad ass purse to pull it all together!! made the rest of us bitches look well....like the little weeds that piss you off that surround the beautiful rose bush that you keep having to pick!!!! "I" casually know Shanana...met for dinner one time a year ago because my other friends knew her and she came along for the ride...or should i say "man bashing session" (sorry fellas) and here we found ourselves again...

Myself Gabriella and Natasha are sitting on the patio of the Flying Goat (A.K.A we want to feel trendy in Spokane Wa. so lets come up with a cool European name/theme that NO ONE in Spokane will have a clue about!!!!....) hence my dear Shanan's comment to the waiter upon her (very European swanky)arrival..."What the hell kinda of name is the flying goat" and "why the hell are you putting my red Zinfandel in this short stubby glass"...as my other friend Natasha proceeded to call it the "Dead Goat"!!! culture girls culture!!! dont you know this is Spokomptin!! geesh

so we get our pleasantries out of the way...and begin the convo...why when women get together is it always about SEX, men, SEX, Penis, exercise, SEX, boobs, clothes, SEX and finally gynecologic visit?? i mean im just sayin....and I DO NOT eliminate myself from these conversions...i casually jump in with one liners here and there that well are really quite frankly inappropriate...

the poor waiter probably wanted to go get a shotgun...hand it over to fellow co worker and ask to be shot out of his misery after he walked up to table hearing Shanana blurt out..."never have sex the night before your yearly spread em"!! yep thats right!!! poor fella turned around with his tail between legs....only moments later to walk up as the word "Penis" was blurted out....i think we gave him a big "tip" BHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA sorry....

now i know at this point i haven't mentioned much of poor Natashas....well thats because shes happy now..newly engaged and getting lots of SEX!! so she was just kickin back drinkin her beer....i believe (just an assumption) coming down off of some kinda freekin huge great orgasm or something...because in the past she was right in the thick of it...heart issues my ass!! YOU just got laid bitch!! ;)

Gabriella was generous enough to bring us all together that night...whom i will say was very informative about the "happy trail" as a young "gangsta" buck came up and commented to our table to "quiet down".....AKA ( my god Shanana you are a tall drink of water and i am thirsty!!) WAIT...he was a gangster not a cowboy....so (yo bitch you are fine why dont you shake that ass fo me) all i know, i was distracted at some point during this conversation and missed out.. (probably taking notes for this very blog!!) then i heard "happy trail" ( so naturally my head popped up) poor Shanana......she new not of what he spoke...oh...but our good friend Gabriella did!!! gave ol Shanana slap on the face...and blearted out... "it leads to the Penis"!!! as Natasha was still quite sitting there with a smile on her face thinking of her penis....

so it comes to this.....full circle....as much as women say they hate it....they sure love talkin bout it!!!!!

good times ladies...thank you!!!

what makes you better than me??

so today a more serious post...i guess if you read my stuff you know im very fascinated with psychology...people, they way they react, what they say and do and why....

i recently had an experience that made me deepin my thoughts on this very subject....

just because you have experienced more in life....just because you are more "educated"...just because you were given talents or life experience that someone else may not posses which in turn create reactions from others that feed a superficial ego that would other wise NOT be there if you (like them) didn't posses that talent and or experience....

does this make you better??

yes i suppose......but does that give you the right to make someone feel less than you because of this?? or is this instinctive?? do people "mean" to make others feel "less" worthy of their time and presence?? i dont know...or...is it the others insecurity that create this to go on??

i have experienced this over and over on my lifetime....i know for myself...i don't treat people any different...whether you are poor, rich, on the street, funny, talented, not talented, mean, an adult, a child, or otherwise...i feel i try my best to give others the benefit of the doubt...

come to my home (my being)...feel safe....feel welcome....feel.....yourself.....i want you to leave me feeling...like yourself....like you could be yourself...

now don't get me wrong.....i am an Aries after all...i have opinions....and i also "decide" in my life whether you will be someone that sucks the "life" out of me and or those close to me or not....and if you do....i will not to treat you differently (i will choose not to share myself or my energy)...but its not because i think im better...........it would be because your intentions are not genuine...you are fake.......and in my eyes....there is nothing worse than a fake, self righteous human being with ulterior motives...soul suckers as i say....

i love life to the best of my ability.....if there is one thing i have taught my children is this....there is always someone smarter than you, better looking than you, more talented than you, funnier than you...ect....it is a fact of life.....this doesn't meant they are better than you....

i also tell them the same goes for when the tables are turned....if this is you that's on the other end....show them the way....so they feel empowered...for to want another to feel weak.......only makes YOUR weakness stronger....

heavy heavy......tis the mood tonight i guess...

the lighter note next time....

I'll give you a safe word!!!

Well...it has been awhile hasn't it!?!

with my problems of not being able to do one thing at a time i find my self dabbling in way to many things and unfortunately...other things get pushed to the side...oh ya then i remember i have kids!!!! and everyone's schedules intermix and i find myself needing to be in 5 places all at the same time...well enough of that!

My recent adventure in conversation (mind you i have had many to write about just haven't made it to the slate room) came to me while listening to my co workers during the unusual lunchtime weirdness that happens at my place of employment...(im usually gone) however on this fine day i returned from usually running of errands get the hell out to breath time to me a bit early...and well...im glad i did...

so the conversation i walk in on is this...(belly laughing) "Ok so im listening to the radio and Bob begins to tell story about a girl he met and how they get naked she has tattoos (im keeping it short) of some angels butterfly's (the usual hmmm i don't know what to get so ill look through a tat book and shout out 'that looks cute!!! and vwala you look like a biker!!) and then he notices she has one on her side of a zipper...the gent asks ?? she in turn responds that's a memento of my X (really?) that was my "safe" word for him....the co worker then goes on to say that the man looks at her confused and responds (in scared voice im sure) "safe word"...so they begin doing their biz and they are getting into it and she starts choking him and basically doing the ol bondage thing of which we have all "heard" of (some of which do)....he proceeds to ask her what the hell she is doing ? shes says oh you want to choke me? he s says NO!!!!....you can figure out the rest...but what caught my attention was the safe word dealio....and how this nonchalantly got passed over during conversation...

i proceed to ask...."what the hell is a safe word??" so another individual (who knew a bit to much of this subject for my liking) proceeds to tell me well...when your whipping, slapping, biting, choking each other you both pick a word that you "yell" out as your safe word that tells the other person you have gone to far and you need to "back off" WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! are you kidding me?? what the hell is wrong with people?? and what happens when your being choked and you cant say "lovemuffin"??? (no this wouldn't be my safe word) they read your lips while there in some kindof sadistic trance??? yikes??? mine would be a fist in the face...but then again that would turn them on....that's a problem!!

how does one get to the point while getting naked and rolling around on the ground i want to grab my partner and choke them.....ya that's going to turn me on!!!! im thinkin you need some therapy!!! something bad happened to you!!! i mean i get the occasional spank, nibble, and roughness but a word to use because you have gone to far?????? thats just....well that just yells "I NEED TO SEE A PSYCHOLOGIST!!" WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO US??? where did the love go? when did the train fall off the tracks??

the instant gratification/pushing the limits sickness our world is suffering right now is sad...it is stripping the beauty of love from the youngins...the courting has now turned into "hey check out this porn on the internet and then lets FUCK!!!" its sad to me that woman...well quite frankly men are put in these places now to feel like they have to be nasty and quite frankly whorish to be loved...

intimacy is something to be cherished....respected right? maybe i have it all wrong? that raw emotion of lust and love isnt respected by men or woman anymore...we have no self control....its the self control that makes it good...the anticipation...the creative respectful spontaneity after you have become comfortable....our selfishness has taken over...

mind you we ARE animals...but last time i checked....i havnt heard and fuzzy creatures yelling out a "safe" word while fornicating...